anyone, anyone....without using a search engine

Does anyone know this little guys name??? I used to have the book wrapped in plastic but mom probably threw it out like my first cordless telephone...or gave it away like my little blue bear.

Ex-FEMA Director Brown Blinks, Speaks All By Himself

Former FEMA director Michael Brown shocked people around the world today when, appearing before a congressional committee assembled to find out exactly how stupid he and FEMA are, he appeared to blink and form halfway cognizant sentences on his own, without the aid of his trainers or machines....

http://www.enduringvision.com/archives/ex_fema.htm

Carhartt introcuces new rugged work thong!!

One size fits most.

a small riddle

this took me two days to convince my fellow workers to see the right answer and some are still confused.

Three men stay at a hotel for the night. The innkeeper charges thirty dollars per room per night. The men rent one room; each pays ten dollars. The bellhop leads the men to their room. Later, the innkeeper discovers he has overcharged the men and asks the bellhop to return five dollars to them. On the way upstairs, the bellhop realizes that five dollars can't be evenly split among three men, so he decides to keep two dollars for himself and return one dollar to each man. At this point, the men have paid nine dollars each, totalling 27. The bellhop has two, which adds up to 29. Where did the thirtieth dollar go?

Al and the dogs.... she's the one in the blue shirt.

bad dog

Here are my two dogs...Moose is the jumper, Merlot is the furry retarded one.

They can roll over, speak, act like they were shot and fall over, sit pretty, lay and stay on command. Merlot also has another real cool trick--- He likes to eat Moose's puke...and lick his butt.

and one more

Hackers Attack Air-Traffic Control Centers, Cause "On-Time Chaos"

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — A congressional report warning that U.S. air traffic control is vulnerable to computer attack proved true today, as hackers broke into several control center computers, wreaking havoc on the airline industry by causing planes to land safely and on time.
"Our systems are not designed for this kind of reckless, irresponsible efficiency," stressed Delta Airlines spokesman Dan Ryan who, like other airline executives, said he would go to Washington to meet with the FAA. "Until these individuals are stopped, we cannot guarantee... oh damn, my plane's here already. I've got to go. This is lunacy."

FBI TARGETS PARANOID ---more funny stuff

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — The FBI disclosed today that it has been systematically reading and deleting email messages sent to and from paranoid people. According to a Bureau spokesman, the FBI has been pursuing the strategy for "exactly as long as those people think we've been doing it."

an article from a site I like to visit.

EDUCATORS FIGHT TO PROTECTSELF-ESTEEM OF GOOFY, LOSER KIDS "Like Nick Watson, 11, Monica Jordice, 7, and Those Stupid Calucci Twins"
Marido, Ohio (SatireWire.com) — Arguing that nothing lowers a child's self-esteem like public humiliation, school administrators in this city of 15,000 are enacting new policies meant to keep students from being openly singled out for their deficiences, especially, school officials said, obvious losers like Nick Watson, Chandra Mueller, or the Calucci twins.

"It's horribly unfair, but children like Nick Watson are treated as if they've got a big L on their foreheads," said Marido school board Chairperson Anita Hartnette. "It's our job to adopt policies that safeguard Nick and even boost his self-image, as pointless in the long run as that may seem."
Under one such policy, Marido Junior High School Principal Amanda Watters posts a daily "Do Not Tease" list outside her office. It's a roster of students whom she has identified as suffering from low self-esteem due to their lack of intelligence, charm, physical grace, or affability.
"To get kids to feel good about themselves, first we have to stop them from feeling bad about themselves, which means we must not let others damage their dignity," Watters said. "By putting, for instance, Kelvin Fryberg's name on the No Tease list, we're eliminating the public humiliation he might otherwise have suffered because he acts like such a retard."
"And believe me, classmates will point that out," she added. "Honestly, kids can be so mean."
While older students like Fryberg or Mary "Always with Child" Carlisle are stigmatized for their social ineptitude or poor life decisions, educators say younger children tend to suffer for their physical clumsiness. Responding to that threat, Marido Elementary has eliminated games of "tag," arguing they create "victims" — often the slower children — who are perpetually "it" and can never manage to tag anyone.
Explained district Physical Education Director Marv Gormelski: "In our grade school, about 35 percent of the children between the ages of six and 11 could not catch up to a brick wall, and about 10 percent of them might as well not have legs. I mean, they don't know how to use them."
"It's these kids we really have to be particularly sensitive about," he added.
Marido schoolchildren are also receiving self-esteem booster shots in other ways. Standardized tests, traditionally skewed to expose the dull-witted, have been eliminated. Instead, students are given test answers, but not, educators stressed, the actual tests.
"We didn't want to take the chance that someone might still get it wrong," said Hartnette.
Marido High School, meanwhile, has turned victimization on its head by upending the rules for hierarchical competitions that tend to ostracize all but the best and brightest. Starting in the fall, students who vote for Homecoming Queen must choose the ugliest girl in school, and next spring, every senior will be named class valedictorian.
Some students and teachers have complained that this will render the top-student award meaningless. Hartnette agreed. "The word 'meaning' implies 'definition,' and definitions are labels, which are inherently judgmental," she said. "Therefore, the truly modern school can give no more meaningful award than a meaningless award."

And what of Nick Watson, the fifth-grader with the perpetual L on his forehead? Realizing he was exceptionally prone to peer and teacher derision, administrators ordered his school to take an unusual step to safeguard his self-esteem.
Starting in October, the school will annually hold 'Nick Watson Is Normal Day,' where all students will not be allowed to bathe, speak in full sentences, or answer simple math questions, and must attempt to steal at least one personal item from a fellow student's locker.
"I wish we could say he will never be singled out for being a smart-mouthed little bastard," said Hartnette. "But for at least one day a year, Nick will get to be normal."

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.

How come the government is willing to pay all kinds of money for people to go to New Orleans and help with the "devastation"?

I know in Washington State they are offering for emergency personnel to go down there and the government will reimburse the agencies that send people.

Why don't they start hiring people who have lost their homes and jobs from the hurricane and this way they not only get to rebuild their homes but they get paid while doing it.

Some will probably have enough work to retire before the repairs are done.

People up here will go there, make money and bring it back to my state to spend it. Why not keep the money and jobs in the region that was affected?

In the beginning