After Second Major Hurricane In Gulf, Bush Looks For Receipt To Louisiana Purchase

By Lee Camp:

After two major hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico in a matter of weeks, President Bush announced at a press conference Monday that he's been looking everywhere for the receipt to the Louisiana Purchase. Bush insists it's only a matter of time before he finds it and America can get a refund from the French.

The Louisiana Territory was bought from the French by former President Thomas Jefferson. The territory included just about everything between the Mississippi River and the Rocky Mountains.


President Bush stated that he was told where the receipt was when he first moved into the White House but that it's been a long time since then. He doubts he would've thrown it out, and he says he has yet to check the pockets of the pants he wore last Thursday.

What's not yet established is whether the French would even honor a receipt from 200 years ago, especially in light of the tense relations America now has with the French.

When pressed for an answer about this concern, Bush said, "If that situation were to arise, I would ask to speak with a manager. The fact is they sold us a piece of crap. That land is not worth the $15 million we paid for it because it's frequented by hurricanes, land slides, earthquakes, forest fires, smog, bugs, and let's not forget Mexicans. When we bought that land we were not told that Mexicans would be coming. It's a defective product. The French scammed us, and I want my 15 big ones back!"